Taking a Turn for the Worse - Laughter, Please

My posts, mainly thoughtful and sedate up until now, are about to take a turn for the worst. I imagine that no one will really want to read them. I don't really care. I need write, because life right now is pretty sucky and there is no end in sight. Maybe in writing about the days I experience, which by and large are more unpleasant, frustrating, lonely, discouraging and stressful than just about anything else, I'll somehow see the humor in it all. One bright moment of laughter can change my mindset enough sometimes to help me make it through the rest of the day.

My job right now is the bane of my existence. I'm alternately jerked around and ignored; there is no middle point. I find myself at the bottom of the heap looking up people's asses. It's not a pretty view, and behold!, they're all human just like me. All insecure, trying to look like they know everything. When I can shed my misery, it's amusing. Sometimes I get a glimmer of compassion. I suppose that's what God wants. Surely, He's there, I tell myself. Perhaps He sees the humor; certainly He feels compassion. I wonder what use He has for me in this situation. In those few moments when I can rise out of bitterness and self-pity, I can actually believe something good might come of this.

That's why I have to work on the humor. It's light and I'm way too burdened by fear and insecurity. Not a point and laugh, humiliation sort of humor, if that's humor at all, but more like "oh aren't people ridiculous" as in Dilbert humor. Guess that's what I'll pray for tonight, seeing my prayers for other kinds of relief have been met with silence.