Changing my Mind about Facebook

I recently made a cross-country move alone, an amazing, wonderful, stressful and sometimes frightening life event. I now live in Massachusetts, near where I grew up, but far enough away for things to still seem new and novel. And I lived in California for 15 years, so much has changed. More to the point of this post, I no longer have close friends here from earlier in my life. Although all my family is here and I'm close to my sister, it's not the same as having friends.

I'll make them in time, I'm sure. In the meantime, I miss my friends in California terribly. When I think about them, sometimes tears spring to my eyes, tears of gratefulness, joy, and occasionally regret that I didn't pay more attention to them or spend more time with them.

When I left California, I determined to stay in touch with them. I've never been good at staying touch with people, so this has been a big challenge for me. How am I doing it? My main tool has been Facebook. This is surprising for me, because not too long ago, I really disliked Facebook. The one and only reason I set up a profile is that almost everything in my profession did it as well. Here is a piece of an email I wrote to a friend:

>>I fear I am just an old fuddy-duddy, but here is my rant about Facebook:

"Facebook is a social utility that connects you with the people around
you." Huh? Instead of talking to them, you greet them electronically
with some absurd pretend plant or emotion? How meaningful is that?

Another objection I have is that it becomes a competitive thing. Who has
the most connections, applications, communications, etc.? It's not about
real connection, it's a numbers game. Find everyone you have ever known
and "friend" them. If you happen to run into them in person, maybe they
will give you the time of day and maybe not.

Do I really care what someone I barely knew in high school is doing at
this moment?

Incredible time waster too.

It's a young people's thing, and that's fine with me. I don't get it and
have a hard time making it work for me. LinkedIn is good because the
basis for the relationship is clear.<<

I think I also mentioned later that it stinks in the usability department.

My views haven't entirely changed, although now I realize that Facebook for me is what I make it. I find it easy, fun and gratifying to keep of track my friends' activities. Hopefully they feel the same way about me. There are at least a couple of people who I feel I know better since I left because of the personal content they add to Facebook. Now I wish all my friends were on it.

No, I still don't agree with or buy into the competitive aspect. I only friend people I know or want to know personally and/or professionally. I share for the sake of sharing, not to one-up someone. I play the occasional game to connect as well as have fun. I still don't get, and probably never will, the giving of virtual gifts. And I haven't changed my mind about Facebook's usability issues.

Facebook is helping me maintain my California connections in an important and meaningful way. For that I am grateful. I look forward to using it to find and maintain connections here in New England as well.