The Sabbath (again)

I've been doing a lot of thinking about how I observe the Sabbath, and how I can better observe it. No big answers yet about the latter. On a usual weekend, my Sabbath starts between 3:30 and 4:00 Saturday afternoon. I start getting ready for church and attend the 5:00 service. That part is great. I like going then, it's a good atmosphere, and the singing and preaching are fulfilling.

Unfortunately a letdown follows the service. I realize for the umpteenth time that I'm at loose ends on a Saturday night, which to me has always been a time to have fun and/or relax. These days I just feel achingly grindingly lonely. From time to time, I do go out to dinner with friends, which is fine but exhausting. My best Saturday nights were spent with my significant other going out for dinner and maybe a movie or a concert, or going home to watch a video, play games, or just relax. But my significant other is gone and I'm not even looking to replace him.

So then I may go home and cook, which is work (at least the cleaning up part) or I tear my hair out deciding where I can go out to eat alone that doesn't feel uncomfortable. Inevitably I drink too much to numb out and then watch a movie or stupid TV because I'm too tired to do anything else. If not for that, Sunday morning would be fine since I usually hike then, a nice long hike in a beautiful place. But the effects of the previous evening usually make me feel sluggish and not too good about myself. After the hike I come home and get ready for the week so Sabbath is pretty much over at that point.

I don't think this is what God intends for the Sabbath. It's supposed to be a time of rejuvenation. I honestly don't know how to make that happen. I've prayed about it, but God is making me wait for the answer. Meanwhile, another Saturday night approaches.